Updated: Oct 13, 2019
There is a love for the self that can never be taken away or lost, is embedded in you for a lifetime, and is a strength that holds you up through anything when you simply experience the world alone.
There is a powerful force in this that no one and nothing can destroy. .. Not even real or perceived love. When you have people to constantly "fall back on" I have observed in many families this can weaken, or in some, even debilitate that PUSH to be independent. Connecting with just the self shows you what YOU are truly capable of, without the influence, opinion, and comfort of others. .. And the CONFIDENCE that comes from the KNOWING that you can withstand this world ALONE, NO MATTER WHAT? ...... BEST feeling in the world.
Community and togetherness is also a huge component to survival, yes .. but so is mastering living without them. ..
Researching in depth and debating this would be so much fun .. and an excellent thesis and book. Anyone want to write it with me, lets do it.
Moving on .. Spend some time alone - reconnect with yourselves.
Stop being a mom, dad, sister, brother, fill in title of job, patient, etc and anyone else you think "NEEDS" you .. and reconnect with YOU. "How do you do that?" Well, I guess you'll have to hire me. 😜
But here's some free authentic advice -- If you take some time alone to just BE with YOU (no phones) for more than 24 hours and allow yourself to process the pain, the joy, the worries, and anything that comes up and allow yourself to cry, be angry, laugh, reminisce, and create goals on building whatever is next for YOU (not your partner/kids/pets/parents/etc) ... you WILL hear the answers. I promise.
I highly suggest writing, vlogs (talking to your video camera), drawing, etc to record your thoughts to go back to when you get back to the daily grind, to remember who YOU are. And BE WITH NATURE!
"Can I achieve this with my roommate/ partner / kids / dogs / cats in the home if they stay in another room?" NO! Your energy will still be with them and vice versa, you'll be worried about them, hearing them, etc.
If your partner/kids/parents asked you today, "hey can I borrow or take out $200 to do a weekend alone to reconnect myself, I really need it?" You would be so happy for them and you would FIND $200.00 to give them.
Now here's the big question ... Are you willing to use that same scenario with and for YOURSELF? My advice is this -
Invest $200 dollars in yourself and go get a hotel for the weekend! You will come home the happiest you've been in a very long time. And the best part is? You bring that energy HOME to your roommate/ partner / kids / dogs / cats etc! ❤
"Ok, but can I text / call / email / fb / snapchat and Facetime!?" NO! ;P Well...Ok maybe one or two "just saying hi and i love you" texts or a quick snapchat of you doin your thang will do no harm. But.. Energy still exchanges on phones and videos, therefore distractions away from the SELF develop and you wont always have the same strength you left with to not feed into whatever is going on at home. So let everyone close to you know you're off the grid for 24-48 hrs, you may get one or 2 texts or snaps but no engaging and unless its an emergency (a real one), it can wait.
Part of this work is not just for YOU it will also show your loved ones "hey I guess I CAN do this or that without them!"
Which will build confidence in them as well and give them a break they may not know they needed as well.
IT'S A WIN - WIN!
I do this frequently and always have, esp. when I'm in a relationship bc I get overwhelmed by other people's lives because I have the life of 20 people already - I crave being alone as much as I crave being with people - I have finally found my balance and get better with age. I esp need to do this during times I begin to lose myself.
"How do you know you're losing yourself?"
Pay attention to your body - your mental & physical health, your moods if they are fluctuating more, and simply ASK those you're closest to. "Have I been moody lately?" Lol if the answer is "ehhhhhhh...." or "yes! Omg!" Or "wellllll...." then its time to book that hotel.
When I get irritable, I know its time to disappear and reconnect. I cannot stand to lose myself for one day and if I start to, I book that hotel or ask Freddy to stay with a friend because I just need to be alone. I do this for work as well, but that's different because I'm working. Sometimes tho I do my mini self vacays to just BE with myself and do FUN stuff alone like beach, pool, movie, hang out with random ppl at an event, etc .. and I feel SO refreshed every time.
Make your own personal "reconnect fun" so you cant use MONEY as an excuse. If you need to be alone? Trust me, you'll find the money. Just like you can always find the money if you need something for someone else - well, you can find the money for yourself too.
INVEST IN YOURSELVES ...and you will thank YOURSELF later!
Are you interested in working with me .. aka working with yourself?
I help people find the answers they already have inside of them, and light that flame inside of all of us that is often dimmed by the daily grind.
*Certified Personal Empowerment Coach: near future
*Life Coach of 2 yrs
*Book Author - near future WOOT WOOOOOT!!!!
*Author - Magazines, Websites, & Blogs
*Motivational Speaker - CHD Conferences & Events *Founder of CHD Legacy 🐘 www.chdlegacy.com
*Fur mama to the coolest little guys & soon to be WIFE to the most amazing man on the planet. 😍
*Future human mama when all of the above is COMPLETE! ✔ so I can be MY BEST, HEALTHIEST, HAPPIEST SELF to give to my babies.